Like Monday’s entry Shark Kill, Spring Break Shark Attack was a made-for-television movie, in this case a CBS Sunday night attempt at counterprogramming Desperate Housewives. This gambit is made explicit in the opening scene, in which four MILFy types floating in an inflatable raft enjoy cheese, wine and catty remarks before being devoured by sharks. Cute, sure, and emblematic of the overall disposability of the project; watching the movie four years later, divorced of its original context, I would never have made the connection if not for my diligent research on behalf of this column.
August 5, 2009
SHARK WEEK: Spring Break Shark Attack (2005)
August 4, 2009
SHARK WEEK: Sharks in Venice (2008)
“There are no sharks in Venice,” we are told several times in the movie entitled Sharks in Venice. There are a few other things that aren’t found in Venice, most notably the cast of Sharks in Venice (that is, unless their scenes were shot on a soundstage in Venice, California). Said cast is headlined by Stephen Baldwin, best known nowadays as the Jesus freak of the Baldwin clan, but here playing David Franks, a low-rent Indiana Jones-style college professor/ archaeologist/ swashbuckler who jets to Venice, Italy with his fiancée when he learns his father has gone missing on a diving expedition.
August 3, 2009
SHARK WEEK: Shark Kill (1976)
Once again it’s every Discovery Channel fan’s favorite week of the year – Shark Week! For the 22nd straight year, the nature network gets to have its cake and eat it too by airing (and re-airing and re-airing) documentaries with terrifying titles like Great White Appetite and Sharkbite Summer, all in the name of shark conservation. You see, these so-called man-eaters are simply misunderstood! Here at the Screengrab in Exile we’re all about misunderstanding, so we choose to celebrate Shark Week with a quintet of sharksploitation movies…just when you thought it was safe to go back to the video store.
July 29, 2009
Wayback Wednesday: Adam Sandler
In anticipation of this week’s release of Funny People (look for a review at Nerve on Friday), here are two reviews of recent Adam Sandler films, as well as a feature on the whole school of man-child comedy, originally written for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
118 min., PG-13 (crude and sexual content throughout, language and nudity)
Grade: ** (2 out of 5)
If anyone has been eagerly anticipating a zany summer comedy about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the wait is finally over. But those of you hoping said comedy would possess some sort of daring satirical insight on the matter are bound to be disappointed, unless you find endless jokes about hummus to be particularly revealing about Middle Eastern culture.
(more…)
July 27, 2009
Oh, that’s right, I have a blog…
Sorry for the long hiatus! I was on vacation and so forth. Here are some the things I would have linked to, had I been posting here:
New Releases: The Ugly Truth plus three
New Releases DVD: Watchmen plus three
New Releases: (500) Days of Summer plus three
New Releases DVD: Mad Men plus three
New Releases: Bruno plus three
Look for a new Unwatchable as soon as later today, plus a special week-long feature next week at the Screengrab in Exile!
June 26, 2009
New Releases: Transformers plus three
This week’s new releases at Nerve. Good news for those of you who hate this format (the feedback has not been, uh, overwhelmingly favorable), we’ll be tweaking it over the next few weeks. Please bear with us during this time of transition!
June 25, 2009
Summer of ‘89: Batman
Each Thursday this summer we’ll hop in the time machine and jump back twenty years to see what was new and exciting at the neighborhood moviehouse this week in…The Summer of ’89!
Batman
Release Date: June 23, 1989
Cast: Jack Nicholson, Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger, Robert Wuhl, Pat Hingle, Jack Palance, Billy Dee Williams
The Buzz: Hot young visionary director of Beetlejuice brings America’s favorite comic book hero to the big screen
Keywords: Vigilante, Joker, Gadget Car, Christ Allegory, Urban Renewal, Evil Clown
The Plot: A vigilante patrols the Gotham City night. Is he man or bat? Or man dressed as bat? (SPOILER: He’s man dressed as bat.) (more…)
June 24, 2009
Throw your own Coen Brothers scavenger hunt
Those of you eagerly awaiting October’s Lebowski Fest have no doubt registered for Friday’s Big Lebowski Scavenger Hunt, and (if you’re smart) are already preparing for glory by securing a few no-brainer items, like a White Russian and a Creedence tape. But as much as we love the film and fear inciting random acts of nihilism from its fervent fans, we have to ask: Why does Lebowski always get the love?
June 22, 2009
Five Inappropriate Father’s Day Movies
OK, I’m a day late linking to this one, but I was out at the lake with no internets this weekend, so that’s just the way it’s gonna have to be. From Decider, here’s I know I’m going to be the bad guy here: inappropriate Father’s Day movies. I see that a commenter has noted that I forgot to include Dutch. Sorry for the oversight!
June 18, 2009
Tourist Trap: Museum of the Weird
Vampires, two-headed sheep, hulking ape-men covered in thick, matted hair—sounds like another night on Sixth Street. Thanks to the Museum Of The Weird, however, you can now enjoy these bizarre sights without the aid of a half-dozen Jell-O shooters at Dizzy Rooster.
